My not maternity at my 35 years old

“Your rice is going to go mushy”, this is the typical phrase that Spanish women around 30 have to constantly listen to. This phrase means that you will lose the opportunity to have a child, your biological clock is ticking but not for so long.

Although less and less, there is still social pressure that there is an age at which one should already be thinking about getting married, then having children. It is fine that there are a lot of people who really want to follow those patterns in their life, but if the person who you are telling “Your rice is going to go mushy” knows for sure that do not want to have children? Or at least for the moment.

To this affirmation of knowing for sure that not wanted to have children or for the moment, is followed by a series of questions or accusations that in my opinion, the people who formulate them should rethink if they are necessary.

Besides that we must learn that to procreate, is not the only objective of women. That apart from being a mother they have and must have other goals in their life and the first must be to love oneself and be happy, with or without children.

Kind of questions like if you do not have children, who will take care of you when you are older? I have heard them more than once. At this moment I wonder if in that case, the fact of having children like something beautiful, something dear just changed to be something completely selfish.

To build a family, it must be something really wanted, not something that you have reached because society pushes you to it. And when I speak about building a family, I speak in all senses, in having biological children but also adopted.

Because if your rice is already “mushy” but you truly feel the love to create a family, you will create it.

Just do it when you really want to do it or don’t do it if you really don’t want to.

Link video with subtitles English and German https://youtu.be/H9y144FP39c

Sisterality Italian Team

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